(these are the thoughts of My dear friend Abhay about his gf Alisha)
I don’t have anything on my mind right now, just an imagination running inside me…I want to see her……Touch her…feel her…be in her arms..coz that’s the only place where I feel relaxed and completely satisfied. She makes me feel awesome , not tht she keeps appreciating me all the time. She has her own way to make me feel like that. i don’t know why I can’t speak things infront of her. I feel so lost when I look into her eyes. she just keeps on sayin things to her frnds while I look constantly at her. She is conscious about this, she wil keep repeating tht I don’t talk to her…how shud I put this..”baby,I don’t know wat to say, how to say..when to say..i feel like bein in ur arms forever..kiss you like crazy..love you every second..”
I still remember.. the first time I met her.. I was more nervous than I can actually tell her…she said she was nervous too…probably not as nervous as I was..but dint had the courage to tell her ki “baby, I am also in the same position..just that I don’t want these things to ruin my words..coz this was the first impression that I was about to make..I know I am stupid and idiot sometimes..but I can tell you..i wil do whatever it takes..to see my baby smile..”
My baby is different in all aspects…she has her own rules..ethics..ways of doing things that makes her special ..there are many things that I have been noticing ever since day1..
She would put a status like “don’t ping me or I will kill you”..despite of those things..i would still ping her asking stupid questions all the time..and she would answer me …I used to crave for her attention all the time…like as if I was the only one who should be chattin with her…I don’t know what made me think like that…I used to be jealous of all her friends (in boys and girls as well)..coz she would tell me about all the nice time she had with them..i would be like..”god, why I wasn’t there..”..and these feelings were prevalent evrytime I used to chat or talk to her..
It made me feel like I wanted to tell her..” Alisha, u re just mine…. and I want you very badly in my life..and I have been thinkin of you..”
Scared of the consequences..i was .. really I used to feel like WHAT IF?..she gets angry or may be asked me not to talk to her..or may be even break the relation we had…we were friends..yes..we were good friends..we used to talk about anything..and the best thing was … I was least bothered wat I was sayin..if I had anything on my mind..i used to say IT ALL..god knows wat made me do that..and she always answered my questions…about ANY DAMN THING…We started talking about life..issue..complexities and various other things..AND ALAS!!
The thing struck me…she is totally a different person than I anticipated her to be…yeah obvio she is THE BINDAAS kinda girl..as I expected of her..being a mumbaikar…..streetsmart……havin all the information in this world..she had answers to all my weird questions..In the 2nd month of our frndship…I realized tht there is a side to her that very few people are aware of …yes the side I loved so much…
That was when I came to know about things she did at home….god..she was such a caring sister…she would always crib about her bro doin stupid things..and then she would always be there for her wenever he needed her..in his studies..food issues..schooling ..life and nw even gf..gawwd….!!!
Then…..she used to go to NGO to teach children(she doesn’t go now due to her loaded life…but she ll be back there)....I don’t know..wht made me think ..but I was damn impressed to see this..not just this…she was actually taking out time for me in EVERY way possible..messgin me to call wenevr possible..that was really sweet of her..she gave me all the importance in her life…and I felt so blessed..she gradually started wishin me morning and nights…with sweet piggy type texts..
Slowly and gradually we developed this habit..she would call me while travelling every morning...and would detail me of slightest of things around her..and also she used to tease me of my girlfriend..yes..the computer lady recording at railway stations… ..was my gf acc to her…made me feel weird and super irritated....but still I was loving it…...
I don’t know what actually made me think that yes I HAVE THE RIGHT…she gave me the freedom or did it happen this way..or were the things meant to be …
For her I was a real good friend..who she was confiding into..she trusted me 99.99999% as she would put it…00001% was missing bcz I ws not real in her life…I was somewhere yet I was nowhere in her life..
Also about her BEHHHST FRIEND Priyanka…she was the GIRL in her life(not that way :P)…its not like she had any priorities amongst her friends..but she had this soft corner for Priyanka..which made her really special in her life..she used to tell me all the things tht happened with her everyday and the way she dealt with the situations.. I actually liked her approach towards these things…..!
One of the best things about her is…she behaved so kiddish …and still so mature..she used to be happy and chirpy all the time..and that way spread the happiness all around her…the positivity she carried along with her…was incredible…being in Pune I felt so energetic after talkin to her…she would make me attend all my classes.
The time ws my Ligament surgery wen I was low in my life..i was leavin for the airport and the day I remember I texted her..tht ws my first message ever…after she gave me the no. in the morning..
Being in Pune..i used to detail her about the various things in my collg..she would listen to all my crap..
Later on wen I was in Delhi (My parents live there)..was the time I realized tht I had this thing for her..she was the person I referred to as PERFECT..
She used to cook for her family..take good care of her mother and father..her fav line to me wud be wen she said to her mum in her sweet voice..”HO MUMMA..(yes mom)”..
And I wud be like crazy.”mann! she is just awesome!”..she would comfort me wenever I felt bad or low..just by sayin..”kya tu bi Abhay!!!…ye to bla bla syndrome hain…itna kya”..and I found it so true..accepting things would be so easy than to keep cribbin about them and thinkin all the time…
She is the MOST romantic person ever..she used to deny this all the time..and today I think I was so right about her..i have learnt a lot from her..she has been my friend, philosopher and guide in my life…and I wanted to have her forever…some how I was getting attached to her emotionally … she had become a part in my life..and gradually she became my life..
Wen I was in Delhi for vacations..45 days before I met her..our talks and conversations increased and the frequency was all time high… and so was my mom’s cell phone bill(I knew tht wud happen..but she ws worth it)..its not like she was not concerned abt tht..but even she wud call me wenever pssbl..and I dint wanted these things to play any crucial role in our relation..communication was necessary and I would call her NO MATTER WHAT…she had been very consoling in the first few weeks wen I was tired of the fights and issues at home..quite casually she would console me in her sweet way..and I would be so happy..
Yes,I must mention..wenever I used to call her and she ws with her frnds..she wud talk infront of them..and thus the attention used to get diverted .. I used to feel bad..but then I dint had the courage to say tht … AAloo(Alisha) please talk to me for sometime in private..coz I thot ki already she is talkin to me and that’s the best thing for me..again wat if she gets angry..!! coz I knew ki she dint want to be a bitch by ignoring her frnds for any call…and I respected her decisions..
One fine day,it happened..she said “miss you”..and then..”don’t go beyond this..” hehe…mann!
she updated her fb status to “m addicted..” and then I was on cloud nine…coz I felt tht the girl was also feeling the same belongingness as I was feeling…but then a thought came into me..”dude..for her evry frnd of her is special…u r just a new person so she is likin u..after some day she wud get bored of u..”
Again a “what I”f situation..all these things wer so scary to me..i knew exactly I wanted her..but I dint know what should I do to get her…I was just a normal guy in her life..with special attention.. she used to call me a flirt…but I think I deserved it..coz somehow the way I was…I was a flirt..it took time for me to understand this side of me..
There was also A project work..yea yea…tht is important..earlier while chattin I had discovered tht she was workin on some PHP based project..which she was findin difficult to create…coz she was a novice to PHP…I offered her help..(coz 1. I knew coding..and 2 .codin is fun 3.chance to learn something new.. 4.she was a good frnd. And m not sure if the reason was that 5. I wanted to pataoify her..)
Yes..i know somehow I really wanted to help her…I spent 2 nights before leavin fr Delhi to code the system in java…and spent another 1 month having it implemented on her computer(yes..slow system issues ..)
After that …the code worked..and the documentation was made…gawwd..the document she made..was so awesome tht I cud not even half of the things she mentioned..all jargon for me.. but it was great ..really awesome one..she was really good at makin reports..and documentation…she knew things better than me..
Later on…the day of presentation..we discussed about every code and I tried my best to explain her the nitties and gritties of the code..she dint understand much (:P)…and still she performed very well…I was happy for her..
Yes,the day had come…as It was meant to be…
While chatting one day..she asked me ..”Abhay ,what do you think of me..as In wat kind of person I am..??! be honest and blab la”
The first part of the question stuck me..and I was like ...gawwd..the way I feel about you!!
How can I really put the answer in the best way being honest…ohk ..i took my time and replied tht I wud answer on call…and later tht night…I blurted it all…yes I blurted my emotions…about how incredible I felt she was..and tht I was crazy about her..okie..i was like on and on…and ON…I told her..
Then she clarified her question..and told me…what was she intendin to know..and that wsnt the meanin of her question..
I was kind of in a weird position..now..i told her..AAloo..i am in love with you..and I really don’t want you to answer me..just be as u are..i cherish u the way u are..and then she was SILENT…like real one..
Exactly 5 dys later..she msgd me ..” I love you.. I love you.. I love you.. I love you.. I love you.. I love you.. I love you..”
At around 12 in the night..i remember she had her Embedded Systems paper..
Tht was the behst night of my life..and seriously I cud not sleep..
AAloo has been a journey to me…which changed me..in a way..makin me more successful ,more confident, more positive..all these things I owe to her..(she says..thts it was already in me..she just mined it…..!!!)
Hehe…time passed by.. AND September 9th, 2009 was the DAY wen I met her for the first time.
She looked so beautiful. she looked amazing ….like gawwd..the day was incredible..i gained tht 0.00001% trust in her…and today I can’t explain how ecstatic I was..WE kissed…and my first kiss was an unforgettable one ( I know everyone’s is, but my first kiss was a “right” girl n m proud of dat).
25th August, 2010
Today only 15 days are left fr our 1 year to complete..the feeling is still the same..i still crave for her attention…just cant get enough of her..and I am still crazy about her..she looks so beautiful..i skip my breaths wen I c her..
We both have matured in this relationship..she has been able to open herself in a more better way..i have had things to tell her..which was really difficult for me to express..but the way she took it was amazing..she helped me become more confident now about myself..she made me promise her tht I won’t call myself a loser in my life..and made me winner for life..
She is mine…. she is mine..and only mine..i want to c her happy…I m planning to propose her with a solitaire as soon as I start earning…… Waiting for the day…… :D
She understands me the way no one does…. She promised me tht she will marry me after 4 yrs ..i.e wen I am 28 ..i am so happy and eagerly waitin to grow old…. I have been thinkin abt my career..and now I am sure tht by 28 I want to do some things for her.
Life is a roller coaster ride.. she says that... Its true …and ...trust me…the girl is always right..ALWAYS right…
I have started calling her as my biwi and she hates it..:P but I love it..and she has started callin herself fat..all the time..i hate it ..i love her the way she is ..fat or slim..or may be .. I realize hw fat I am wen she says this..i know I can lose weight anytime I want to..i will do it in the NEAR future..(bhul jaa :P)
I have also known her friends in these 11 months. and they have really been so supportive in our relationship. I feel so blessed and lucky..to have her in my life.. she completes me as a person..as a human being..she is ME!
I want to keep coming back to this…as I have more to write..but cant wait to get back to her..i m missing her…I want to talk to her….. NOW !