Entering a new year! 2011-01-01 whoa!! What a date! Umm… so well this year begins without a party for me like last year. My dearest naanuu passed away on 30th dec, and no I aint sobbing.. why should I ? that man had been suffering for 7 months now.. he deserved death to rest in peace. But yeah, it’s a great loss for my family ; especially mumma cuz she loved him the MOST! And I love her the most, so it’s like a cycle you know.
Dec 31st, 2010 was the night I completed Shantaram. I got a call from Sriram my dearest friend, he was the first one to wish me “happy new year”. We spoke about the amazing resolutions, about life, work and the ending of eighth semester. It always feels good to talk to him, funny and useless topics that we chase keep the energy high! We ended the conversation soon, and Sriram was left with a smile on his face( I imagined it). Then Archana called to wish and it was a lot of swearing and lovey dovey talking to her. New year had come !
Then I spoke to him all night. But he wasn’t in a good mood or sleepy or whatever cuz he was home. I have to appear for XAT tomorrow yet I talked all night because I love him. I was feeling some kinda anxiety while talking the whole night. He hurt me last night. I don’t know why but I was feeling like a splash of emotions inside me. Love, hatred, desire, winning, losing, sad and most of all the question of why I did whatever I did !!
There was somewhere a content sleeping in me yawning and ensuring to never go away. Content that said “Leena you have done some good things too, and don’t worry they ll be well taken care of.” But then, imagination and grey thoughts overpower the feeling and question me : “ Really ? Am I, Leena Patil, on the righteous path?” And then the question answer cycle began in my mind.
I have a great mind, a great imagination power and a lot of energy, so I concluded that night the FOL(fact of life): keep working, u ll get it. Also, I know what I have in me and how I can channelize my ideas and do some great things; making a difference to this world, doing something for the womankind, for me and my Mum ‘n’ Dad. I am not in a stage where I have a concrete plan, but soon I am coming up with one and it is going to be kick-ass !:P
With him in my life I have the power to be me, the power to do and most of all the power to live and to make lives ! I owe this year to him, he who gave me : ME… !